Why? Sometimes thats a good question!

I have been pondering the word why this evening. Why did I make the choices I made? Why am I here? Why do I have so much on my plate? Why in the world did I have kids? Why do I love them so much? Why Why Why??
Most of you may not know but my sweet hubby is on another Walmart venture in Odessa, TX. He is going to be working there until October 5th or sometime around there. This little adventure has me asking myself why?
About 3 years ago we began doing these Walmart remodels. Why? Well why does anyone sacrifice so much. For the money of course. We get paid pretty nicely and that is why we choose to have Rick go for 6-8 weeks at a time to do these projects. When presented the job this time Rick was opposed and I strangely wasn't. Why? Well because during the slow months of this year we have accrued some debt for his company. I am not a fan of that and my thought was "what is the quickest way out of that debt? A Walmart would do the trick!" So I began to spin the wheels in my head and we decided now was not the right time. We had birthdays and school and whatever. Well come to find out they desperately needed a crew to cover the job and would work with us so Rick could go after Jazmine's birthday (if he went on time he would have missed mine, Jazmine's and Karsen's birthday). So we worked it out and he left on Sunday. Now mind you I was for this adventure from the beginning. BUT... Here it is not even the 4th day out and I am wondering why in the hell did I do that.
In Mary Kay they say short term sacrifice for long term gain. I know that is what this is but it has still hit me. Considering in the last three days I have dealt with whiny off track bored girls that keep getting grounded from almost everything besides breathing. And two sweet little boys with the stomach flu. Throwing up in beds, on my floor, diarrhea the works. On top of that we have 8 cute new little puppies that I need to figure out what to do with because I am having a neighbor come help finish the sheet rock so I can paint the basement. (They're in the basement btw).
The craziest part of all of this is that I usually take 2-3 weeks to start really missing Rick. Now mind you he is the best husband. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, takes care of the dogs, fish, yard all of it. He's been home (not working out of town) long enough to take on all of these responsibilities that I once carried. So I have gotten used to that but I know with him gone it challenges my abilities. I know I am capable of all of it doesn't mean I want to do it all but I have to. Seriously though this time I miss him for different reasons. I miss him holding me, telling me its gonna be ok when I am frustrated, having an adult to talk to, all the little things, even him grabbing my butt when its inappropriate (don't tell him that though).
Hell I have resorted to Blogging.
So I guess its ok to wonder why? It challenges us. I know it challenges me. I know that I need to be strong for my family and that is what I will do even if I wonder why? Even if I am upset or sad. It will all be ok. right? Thats what Ricki always says and I believe him. Sometimes its ok to rethink our decisions because if it is a good one you will always get a good feeling.
So enough bout this lame topic. I am done venting. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.